Posts tagged ‘weight loss’

April 22, 2012

My name is Catherine and I am fat

You may think that I’m putting myself down so I’ll use the proper medical terminology instead. My name is Catherine and I am in the category that comes after ‘morbidly obese.’ I’m basically so fat they haven’t be able to give it a name yet.

I started to gain weight in high school and it has continued to escalate throughout my life. At my heaviest I’ve weighed as much as 155 kg. It’s been a constant frustration, annoyance and battle. The energy, time and resources I have thrown at it over the last 30 years is incredible. Last year I even took part in a documentary on SBS called the ‘House of Food Obsessives’.

From an aesthetic point of view it doesn’t really concern me.  My husband finds me attractive and desirable and I really don’t care what anyone else thinks. What does concern me is the many weight-related health issues and problems that impact on my day to day life such as Type 2 diabetes, sore feet from collapsing arches, under active thyroid, shortness of breath, sleep apnoea and not being able to wear my wedding rings. I constantly marvel at how easy it is for me to gain weight yet so difficult to lose it? I also marvel at how John can have donuts for breakfast and look like a rake. It just seems so unfair.

As a Christian I often wonder how much God cares about this. In 25 years, despite me bringing the subject up repeatedly with Him, He has never expressed an opinion about it. I’m not saying God doesn’t have one I’m just saying He’s never raised it with me.

What God has raised repeatedly though is my ‘spiritual weight, growth and maturity.’ What do I mean by that? At it’s simplest I would define it as ‘the ongoing process of becoming more like Jesus Christ.’ God has shown far more interest in this than my weight. I may have been obsessed with it over my life but He certainly hasn’t. He just wants his daughter to be more like His Son.

What has distracted you from becoming more like Jesus? Being successful? Making money? Being comfortable? Having children? Running a home? The pursuit of Happiness? Maybe you’re not distracted at all but you just don’t care, you’re apathetic to what God wants to do in you and through you. Maybe you’re held back by an addiction? Maybe you’ve gone the other way and become ‘spiritually fat’ – consuming and retaining resources rather than being a vessel that God can fill up and pour out for others.

In a garden, alone, Jesus wrestles with His death.  He knows what is ahead, what is about to happen to Him. He utters these words to His Dad ‘yet not my will, but your will be done’. I cherish that we are given a ‘look in’ at this intimate and precious moment between a Father and Son. I can’t read these words without being challenged at my naval gazing ways. I  find I can’t hide from the this very simple truth, He gave up everything to save a wretch like me, fat or skinny.

Over and Out

Catherine xoxo

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